Lifetimes Grown

Sometimes you wake upRealizing when you thought you were at your brightestYou were dabbling in your doom

You did what you thought would help you make surviveHelping others in avoidance of your full self drowningYou make up scenarios to lie to yourselfSo that the next day it all makes sense

The red flags everyone sawTo which you were blind

It’s like the universe put you in a fire chamberSaid build fireIf you want outYou think you’re resilientThen show me from this entanglement you can get out

Who do you trust to tell you the truth in your darkest daysThe darkest days you thought were brightWhen you tried to split yourself to a million piecesBut it still wasn’t enough

Are you grateful for the clarity?The lenses of oblivion are long gone nowYou’ve become the treeAnd the crow always chose your branches over any

How does it feel to earn self-honesty?The truths you had no language to tellAnd your words were hiding in between the calls

Performative speechesDo you really feel like it was you?

When I look back it feels like I’ve performed an exorcismIt hurt but I’m pure nowThe fire has earned her voice

Perhaps it was all just a gameTo bring her to her kneesWorship what’s in her corePerhaps it’s time for a new churchA new reality we all come to know

Have we just met?I feel rebornAs if all was in some past lifeAs if all those people were ghostsThat didn’t believe I could scream and shout

Silence feels stronger now

I look in the mirrorI’ve seen so many versions thereReflected on my chromatypeAre too many caterpillarsThinking they see the sunWhen they never saw the light of day

I feel the sun is rising in my chestThe night is over it saysYou’ve earned your voice to become the rays

You’ve burntYou’ve surrendered to the fireThe chaos kept you on your toes

You’ve earned your sightThe wisdom of the crowYou’ve exchanged glaresAs you’ve lifetimes grown

Yes, Fire.You are lifetimes grown.