Her Brain

Sometimes I feel like a little girlWith no idea how I stumbled on this pathGoing back to yesterday's conversationI had to figure it all outFrom the startIt was easy to dreamAnd it was easy to avoidI feel like so much blood was shedAnd now I put a bed in the middle of the arenaAnd I am sleeping until elevenBlaming my sleep debts on period crampsTears fall from my eyes and I know it's the period talking Those mood swings are strong enough to make you believe you're having another existential crisisToday it feels impossible to get from here to thereI can't wait to have my keysAnd I don't know if I want to share them yetTracked my own evolution through those who I have grew a likingToday I look at him and the little me is astonishedAm I her, she says Like all those before him too is a symbolismProbably not real and I probably shouldn't have the timeWhen you figure it all out by yourself for introspection isolates you from the crowdDriven by returns you calculate every single interactionEvery single mimic tells you who someone truly is and you enjoy it when you're deceivedIn a game where you know how to play your cards Seemingly open but in reality not an open just anyone can perceiveSometimes it feels good to know someone can take care of you At most times you will deny every other possibility to have that someoneI needed a pause I am taking itRuthlessly scared about the non-existing zeroesBut I could worry about them or use my days making the mostAnd once again it is the same old worryAnd you know perfectly well which song the record is playingSometimes it all feels virtual I created something that doesn't existWhen I am laying on the bed in the middle of the arenaAnd everyone is fighting each other in ways they know howI hear the swords greet each otherThe sound of ironAnd there is the silence of diplomacyThen a part of me knows best poetry stems from the most unwantedAnd that writer self harms to feel the adrenalineRepressing the unspoken to explode in blissOnly then she can get further away in the gameNo one plays by her cards but she is bold enough to rewrite the rules of the gameOnce againit's her brain